Beginning

We haven’t blogged here for a while, not due to lack of dream developments but because the developments have become too sensitive to share. Now the dream is over, suffice it to say we have fought for it to the bitter end. We have dared to believe it would work out in the face of disaster after surprise after terrible fluke. The tide of the year taking the dream further from our feet with every surge of bad luck. Each painful twist of our fates making us more determined until we approached for the sake of our own well being, resignation and finally acceptance, that we could no longer hold on to this year’s dream.

The struggle is far from over. But now having been forced to make decisions about the house sale and purchase, we are no longer battling towards a deadline. We are back on our own clock, and that at least gives some relief. A tonne of pressure remains, but at least for the first time in months we have a few certainties to cling to. We will be in Lechlade for the birth of our daughter and for Christmas. We will probably be here until late spring or summer so the kids can have almost a year of nursery, together, in a setting we know will only bring them joy.

Now it’s over, it’s done, we can move on, we can get on with our lives, here and now. So I’m sat here with barely enough room on the desk to rest my arms as I type. The house poised for rearranging, organisation and de-summerification. I have to throw myself into the next project and that project is nesting. Thank goodness we have two exciting and affirming occasions: the birth, quickly followed by Christmas, to focus on and anticipate.

As long as we are who we are, our dream will never die. We are on dream holiday for a while. A pause while the legal and financial world catches up with our ambitions. Come spring we will be trying again. We’re not back on square one. The hard work has been to get us precisely to this place. We are sad, but also happy. It’s a beginning. An opportunity. We see the silver linings. What we have gained is more than we have lost.

We are already so much closer to our dream. Ben is now working as a writer, at home. We are already onto new ideas, returning to old ideas, of how, when the tide turns, to reach our desire of moving to French soil and sun so our dreams can begin.

~J

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