Slipping through my fingers

I felt it was all falling away, and there was nothing we could do about it. It was suddenly so close to over. The words that would decide our fate felt imminent. Were we back to the drawing board? I started looking for houses on the Isle of Wight, that we could afford, big enough and with a big enough garden in a position we could use as a tea garden. And then I searched again the Midi-Pyrenees for properties that might not work as B&B but that might be cheap enough that we could just live simply and find various smaller sources of income to get us by. We had already been honing our new, new worst case scenario from river boat on the continent to renting up north to the need for the security of a base, and buying a house outright.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It’s been six weeks of chasing, not knowing, hoping, waiting, frustration, and disappointment. We are surprised, the estate agent is surprised, everyone is surprised. It had all felt so easy and we felt so comfortable leaving the nitty gritty to the professionals. We thought we had it made. We were so confident and had every reason to be. Everything we have been told set us up to think it would continue to be a breeze. That we had nothing to worry about. But it felt like out of nowhere there was a great big boulder hurtling towards us that we could not escape. I felt done for. That we’d managed to somehow work our way into a dangerous corner. And all we’d done was follow advice and leave it to the professionals. We’ve been unlucky. There have been unforseen issues and obstacles and delays.

So we did the only thing we could do. Try to talk our way through it. Talk to our estate agent, talk to our financial advisor, talk to each other and most importantly talk directly, and humanly, openly to the vendors of Cascades. We have listened and made our own minds up about the way to go forward. The only way we can get through this is to stay 100% committed to plan A, however risky that is. And while staying focused on a positive prefered outcome, we must be prepared to let it go and to start again. We must remind ourselves that we could find something else that would fulfil our needs. Somewhere else we could make home, and fall in love with all over again. This isn’t the be all and end all. Nothing is more important than the dream behind the dream house and keeping that dream alive believing with all our might that it is going to happen.



Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s