Team dream dream team

I couldn’t do anything alone. The strength I get from being with Jen isn’t just an ego strength, a me strength (though this is a great deal of what our combo brings) it’s a power that opens up a world that isn’t merely inaccessible but inconceivable without her. It’s a cliche to talk about other halves, soulmates and so on. But there’s a reason I have the word WHOLE printed on the inside of my wedding ring and it extends far beyond a feeling of physical wholeness, or emotional completeness. I had dreams of writing before we met and had never really done anything with them. Not simply because I didn’t have the commitment. And not simply because I didn’t have the experience. I couldn’t stop the dream of writing, of creating something that I entirely was responsible for, from casting into the wind. Every breakthrough I had toward grasping the task of writing, of being a writer, and of sitting down and actually creating was washed through almost immediately with doubt or questions or criticism or self-loathing HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID? At the best times I simply wrote some ideas down and kept them ‘for later’. At the worst I would feel as though I’d had a fleeting moment of what my life should have been like, what there was that I could do in the world, only to be dragged back like a carcass into hell. That’s Hell, otherwise known as Conventional Life. Conventional Life, as in work, concerns, money, housing, futures, pensions, family, sensibleness, qualifications, exams, performance reviews, deadlines, clickrates, adspend, flat plans and countless words written in mindless repetition about meaningless screenshots of identifit entertainment throwaways. The task of creating is hard enough in the pursuit of something GOOD that having to fight myself to even hold for more than a few moments the belief that beginning such a task was anything other than PLAYING made fulfilling my dream impossible. Until I met another dreamer. I can’t dream alone because I’m always waking up. But together me and Jen can keep any number of dreams alive, awake, asleep or comatose because every time the dream gutters in one of us the other works to tend that flame and keep it going. Dreaming, really honestly dream-committing requires not just a level of effort or discipline but an unutterable capacity for living in the clouds and refusing to allow the barren plains of normalcy to flatten any buoyancy a dream possesses. To dream and not just dream but work to fulfil those dreams I need my wife. We are a team. A dream team. A team dream dream team and because the best teams always share, always adapt together and always work toward the same goal any dream we have always, always becomes bigger, stronger, more robust and MORE REAL the more we dream.

|Ben

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